Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Wide Awake

An old friend of mine contacted me the other day. Our friendship ended quite badly so i was surprised to get a message from her. I wondered if something was terribly wrong so I called her.

We talked for a very short while. It seems to me like she is overworked and needs some company. I would have obliged if it wasn't for the terrible way things ended with us. I used to think very highly of her, but when that fell i clearly saw everything that i had refused to accept for so long. When she contacted me and invited me to meet with her, i thought "Why in the world would i want to?".

Our friendship was very educational. I learned a lot of things in the years we were close friends but i don't feel the need to still be her friend. Yes, when we fought we both said some harsh things and i have forgiven her and she has forgiven me. There is no need for us to still be friends. Forgiveness does not mean that i would accept her back into my life. It just means that i have accepted the trouble and have moved on with it. 

Another reason why i would rather not meet up with her is that she comes as a package deal with a bunch of people i would rather not hang out with. Each one of them has some major flaw and all the while i was in that group i never felt like i could trust any of them. in that group there was a pathological liar, a narcissist and an arrogant one. Sure i have my flaws too (i'm an egoist. My ego is probably bigger than the Eiffel tower), but i value loyalty in my friends.

I feel like i am seeing things clearly now. I'm perfectly happy with my life and with my close circle of friends. I dont need her friendship. Though she feels like she needs mine. I'm having trouble deciding whether i should meet with her since she is clearly in desperate need of reconnecting with me, or whether i should just continue with my life. Any thoughts?

p.s. Mala, i'd love to hear your opinion. :-)

2 comments:

  1. Haha! The last line's so cute :)
    Um, I get the whole ended-on-bad-terms thing, but if she needs you, maybe you should be there for her. You don't have to be close friends again, but it would be nice to let her know that she has someone. :)

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  2. Thanks Mala. You give really good advice. I did take it but the whole thing blew up in my face anyway. :)

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