Year end review

I've had this blog for a year now. I can barely believe it! I've been writing for a whole year. I have written a total of 31 posts! THIRTY ONE! That is thirty one pieces of art that I have created. They may not have been good but the point was to improve. I know my writing style has improved in this one year. 

So I sat down and reviewed the resolutions I had made when I started this blog and count how many of them I stuck to.

1. Pay more attention to my mum and sister. They have always been there for me and it’s about time I showed some gratitude.
2. Talk to my friends more often. They will always be willing to stand by me. I need to stop pushing them away and I need to start listening to them more. I need to show them that I will stand by them also.
3. Write posts on this blog as often as I can. This is one thing that will benefit me. I'll learn to be regular, responsible and hopefully I will be more articulate.
4. Lastly, I will be more responsible about my studies, finances and play. I won’t let these things fall through the cracks as often as I have let it.            

The first one is complicated. I was there for my mum and sister in their time of need (mum had a life changing illness, stroke and my sister handled the weight of the household during this time). I was patient and loving and I think I handled that well. I cuddled and comforted my family the only way I knew how; with plenty of food and kisses.
 What I didn’t handle so well came after. I felt so upset about having  no one to rant to that I went and took out my frustration and anger on my family (and a lot on my friends too). That upset the initial idea to a great extent.
 So I guess my success rate was about 60%. 
 The second one has a lower success rate. Though at the beginning I did show my appreciation more, Mid-way I reverted and threw my poop at them as if I was on an acid trip. 
 So I failed miserably. I need to be less of a terrible, tiresome ignoramus and more of a ray of sunshine in their lives (possibly one that will have a GIANT filter so as not to cause too many burns).
 The third one was a complete success. As aforementioned, I stuck to this blog for a whole year; one whole year of writing and improving. 
 The last one was mostly a success. I didn't let my studies and play get too out of hand. I picked up the slack and pushed through. I guess this was a success of about 80%.

Quite a good year. :-)

The greatest contender- Part I

I dug a hole for myself. Six feet deep.  I crouched in it and all at once a feeling of false security. But soon after i felt the undertones of the hole.  Lethargy, melancholy and deep sorrow overwhelmed me. I realized that there were monsters in this pit. They were deplorable and loathsome creatures. They were frightening fiends that delved into my heart and showed me the murkiest recesses. And though I was sure I could see their silhouettes against the walls of the pit, I knew they were monsters that lived and grew on my mind. They replayed the things I wished to forget; the shameful sterling truths , disgusting doubts and remorseful regrets of my life. They accentuated my shortcomings. They took my self image and twisted it to show me a self that couldn’t be myself; and yet I knew with surety that it was.

I dug a hole for myself. I exposed myself to this. I alone can grapple with my adversary. I knew this with absolute conviction. Yet with  my adversary mutilating my reality and distorting my thoughts, I found it difficult to plan out the best way in which I could win this war; or if i could win it at all.

2 ingredient recipes

My oh my. I love to cook. I do. From pasta to pie, I love to cook. Warm brown crusts on fried chicken and patting down the snow white and sandy layers of serradura make my heart sing. Food has always been a dear subject for me. I truly believe that the way into ANYONE's heart is through their stomach.

 Yet, sadly, i'm always faced with a tragedy.Finding ingredients in this tiny town is impossible.

So imagine my surprise when i found a post for 2 ingredient recipes! 

They aren't extravagant and they may not be too professional, but they are perfect for snacking or last minute desserts.

My favourite is the two ingredient truffles. They're perfect for so many things: gifts, dessert, ice cream sundaes, midnight binges.


 Chocolate truffles
And i'm sure my sister would LOVE the nutella cake that i shall recreate as soon as i can to apologize for being a bad sister.  I'm sorry, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you.




Nutella cake

 There are many, many more of these recipes. Just follow this link.

Enjoy!

My little oddity

I have this irrational fear of being alone. This is a strange development of recent months as, by nature I am an introvert.

I used to enjoy being alone for hours, devouring a good book or playing a video game. Nowadays, i still enjoy my alone time but i need the television on, or some music needs to play in the background.

Hmm. maybe its not loneliness i fear.. it's silence. I find the silence frightening. To me it seems like all the ghosts of my past, all the frightening memories lay in the dark silence. They are slyly waiting to creep into my thoughts. And i know that if they do creep into my thoughts, I will have to face them. I will have to turn it over in my head until i no longer fear them. But as of now, i can not.

Back on track

Yay! Today was a very exciting day. I have been preparing for a presentation for English class for two weeks. Today, my teacher not only congratulated me on my elocution skills but she also said my group's presentation was so fantastic that she had no questions for us. It really is the little things that help you pick yourself up from a fall.

I've been depressed lately.. I am seventeen years old and i want to be able to only worry about getting high test scores and playing minecraft. I want to worry about boys and friends and pets. Iwant my life to be predictable and ordinary.

But something so simple, so ordinary set me back on track. Being appreciated.

Damaged

Our world is seriously damaged.  Everyone has a different story and everyone is hurting. I understand that. Everyone has pain in their lives. What i dont understand is how people can be so indifferent to this pain.

If your friend or sister or brother or daughter/son or your parents were in trouble, what would you do? From my experience, people love to lecture other people. That way they seem like they are doing what they should when they're only making it worse. Why doesn't anyone just say, "How can i help you out?" That's what a person who is messing up wants to hear. They want help. They dont need a lecture. They dont need another person telling them what they're doing wrong. They already know that. If all you have to say to them is advice on how to do better, keep it to yourself. It's better off you leave them alone to find their way rather than to give empty advice and pretend like you care.

If a person has trouble getting up, dont advise them to go to bed earlier. That doesn't help anyone. Show that you actually care by waking them up. If they are backtracking on studies, its not helpful to say "You need to work harder". Offer to help!

Seriously. The world needs to know this.

Another thing, to all you people hurting, its not the end of the world. Fight against all those losers that give you advice. Tell them to leave you alone, because trust me, you are better off alone. And if you need any help, feel free to message me. I'm happy to help.

A nightmare

I was in a big happy family once. I had Two brothers, two sisters, two parents that loved me. We lived in a big manor. It was as white and as innocent as I was. I was a curious boy and when I went exploring, I came across a painting in our attic. It was faded brown and showed a family standing outside the manor. Two wizened old parent and a very young girl with ragged hair, Except this family looked angry and evil. They gave me a sinister smile. It was as if I was hypnotized. I touched the painting.

I was sucked in.

My time in that painting was terrible. It was a universe full of hatred. The family in the painting became my own. I was now the son of a wizened old man with decaying teeth and a woman with her hair in a tight bun, with a distant look, a crazed look. The girl became my sister. She was a terrible demon. Her hair was ragged and her fingernails were bloody.My sister (I call her that for want of a better way to describe her) was a she- devil. The horrors I faced at her hands were endless. She strangled me and poked at me with burning pokers. She would pinch and prod and it made me crazy. SHE made me crazy. The old man was no better.  He beat me with the sticks and belts and anything else he could find. Every time I tried to kill myself to escape.  In the painting I soon found out that if you die, you return. You crawl out of the dirt and face more tortures. if you don’t crawl out, you are dug out. It never ends.

 After what seemed like months of torture, I cracked one day. In a crazy rage I hunted down my sister and began to choke her with the old man’s belt. She was gasping for air but I was determined to kill her. To make her hurt.  I was almost going to succeed in killing her when in a burst of energy she pulled out of my grasp and jumped out of a nearby window. I was sure she would resurrect, I waited. But the old man told me she had another place to go. She would crawl out elsewhere. But I would remain here.

Flash forward ten years. The old man continued to torture me after my sister left. But I killed him. The woman was killed much before by the old man. The dusty house and barn belong to me now. I get into the old car and zoom off. I drive for a long time and I reach my destination:  a cold town. It is snowing in this town. But I’m protected by a fur coat. I’m heading towards the beach. The beach is where I shall dig.

I arrive at my destination and I realize I have to wait until sunset. But this beach is a protected area and the guards will  force me to leave.

Suddenly I am someone else. There is a greasy haired boy on the beach, dressed in all back, sitting on the sand next to me. I remember being him but I realize I am not him. I’m myself again. A pretty, petite girl. I try to give the boy as much time. I tell him to continue his hunt, I will distract the guards.

I run to the guards and pretend I’m a tourist. I ask them how to reach a far off place so that they take some time in telling me. Suddenly, there is a siren. The guards tell me that they will take me where I wish to go. It is not safe for a young girl to be alone, they said. Cruel and dangerous things have been happening. I agree to go with them, if only to led them away from the greasy haired boy.

In the open aired jeep, we travel. Two guards in front, one guard at the back with me. It is suddenly very cold. The friendly guard, fair of face and with light, soulful eyes, looks down at me. He gives me a caring look and gently sits closer to me to keep me warm. For the first time since I entered the painting, I feel safe. I know I will be taken care of.

Suddenly, we are being chased. Patches of darkness and shadows of cloaks overwhelm us. But I am safe now, in the Jeep.

Hush puppy!

Our horrible neighbors are lighting cherry bombs and my poor darling baby boy is terribly frightened of the noise. He's trembling and wide-eyed. I've been trying to calm him as best i can and he seems alright now but i did a quick Google on "How to calm your dog" anyway.

Apparently, one of the sure fire ways to calm a dog down is to give him a dose of Benadryl. This method is very effective and with the proper dosage is fine to use but This totally freaked me out anyway. It doesn't seem alright to me to drug your dog/cat without a veterinarian's OK so i skipped this.

Another widely recommended method was to slip a Thundershirt onto your dog's torso. I didn't exactly know what this was but after a quick google it turned out to be this:

Thundershirt

Hmm. I'm pretty certain this is just a clever marketing scheme.A Thundershirt isn't exactly necessary. after a bit more research (read: Google search)  i found out that a nice comfy tee shirt that fits snugly onto your dog's torso works fine too. This works just like a hug and has a calming effect.
  


I noticed that whenever Pumpkin is worried about loud noises, he inches towards the TV. I guess he likes distracting noises just like us humans. It calmed him down to just sit with me and watch me watch TV.

Note: Don't coo and cuddle your dog too much during a scary time. He/She might think this is a good way to gain attention.

General Ranting Post

Lately my head has just been full of rage. For some reason, my temper seems to be constantly rising with  every teeny tiny thing that goes wrong. And you should know that a multitude of things can go wrong in one day.

I'm also fed up with feeling angry all the time. It takes a lot of energy to be upset about everything. So i took a break and though to myself, "What in the world is up with me?"

It took me a while to realise that i'm extremely stressed. My mother, who is a stroke patient, is going through a hypochondriac phase;  my sister is having life issues; my dad is basically taking care of everyone; pumpkin (our darling doggie) is recovering from an illness and that leaves me to do the cooking, washing, cleaning, shopping and keeping track of other house-holdy things that seem to always need attention. And i must say, it is absolutely EXHAUSTING.

I dont know how my mother managed to do it single-handedly for so many years. She took care of her family through and through. We never realised how many things she handled until we had to do it ourselves. We were probably the most ungrateful family and she deserved better. For all that she has done for our family, we are extremely grateful and we love taking care of her the way she took care of us.

It is extremely stressful to wake up and find a dirty kitchen or dirty bedsheets that need to be washed. i can not emphasize how much these small things add up. A messy table makes me want to yell at everyone i can possibly yell at! A pile of clothes that need to be folded makes me break down in tears. Honestly, i think i'm going bonkers.

Ah well. I need to buck up. Put things aside for a while and hit the books. yes, i still have to do all these things but its easier if i take things one at a time and not freak out about evrything.

Cheers to staying calm!

The World Is Full Of Laughter

Can you hear it?
The sound of the dogs howling
The passionate voice of the rain
Can you see it?
The hurrican that's com crashing upon us
and the peopl left with nothing but pain
Can you feel it?
The energy pulsing through us
Th blood rushing through our veins

 This terrible world is a terrible place
Its full of spite and full of hate
but
Inspite of the rumours and social cuffs
we learn to adjust
It is this that gives me hope for our future
This is why i smile in the face of disastr
I know the world is full of laughter

Wide Awake

An old friend of mine contacted me the other day. Our friendship ended quite badly so i was surprised to get a message from her. I wondered if something was terribly wrong so I called her.

We talked for a very short while. It seems to me like she is overworked and needs some company. I would have obliged if it wasn't for the terrible way things ended with us. I used to think very highly of her, but when that fell i clearly saw everything that i had refused to accept for so long. When she contacted me and invited me to meet with her, i thought "Why in the world would i want to?".

Our friendship was very educational. I learned a lot of things in the years we were close friends but i don't feel the need to still be her friend. Yes, when we fought we both said some harsh things and i have forgiven her and she has forgiven me. There is no need for us to still be friends. Forgiveness does not mean that i would accept her back into my life. It just means that i have accepted the trouble and have moved on with it. 

Another reason why i would rather not meet up with her is that she comes as a package deal with a bunch of people i would rather not hang out with. Each one of them has some major flaw and all the while i was in that group i never felt like i could trust any of them. in that group there was a pathological liar, a narcissist and an arrogant one. Sure i have my flaws too (i'm an egoist. My ego is probably bigger than the Eiffel tower), but i value loyalty in my friends.

I feel like i am seeing things clearly now. I'm perfectly happy with my life and with my close circle of friends. I dont need her friendship. Though she feels like she needs mine. I'm having trouble deciding whether i should meet with her since she is clearly in desperate need of reconnecting with me, or whether i should just continue with my life. Any thoughts?

p.s. Mala, i'd love to hear your opinion. :-)

A much needed vacation and why.

My excitement if tending towards infinity. to quote my sister, "We're going to the land of Vicky Donor! eye candy, good food and SHOPPING!"

I feel like i really need this break. A little vacation to get my head back in the game. Lately, i have been feeling a little out of it. I've been feeling claustrophobic. Every time i think about hitting the books i feel like i'm going to be smothered. It's definitely not the work load that is making me anxious. I guess  it's that i have to do it.

i also feel like my breaks arent long enough (who doesnt?), but i'm having difficulty focusing. It's as if my breaks arent fulfilling enough. Hmm.. As long as this doesnt become  bad thing, i think i'll be okay. Lately i've been away from my usual crowd of friends. They're all a bit preoccupied with their respective boyfriends and prospective boyfriends and studying too. i dont know how they manage it, honestly. Well, hanging around with my old batch of friends is highly boring for a single girl. It's all goo goo and gah gah. Either too much love chat or too much shop talk. I like to unwind by forgetting about things, you know? i'm a bit of an escapist that way. I love to run away in my mind, if only for a little while.

i've been hanging out with another crowd for the past few days. unfortunately, i like it. They're exciting and daring and they're all so good at balancing it all. Fascinating..

My week away from home is bound to set things right (hopefully).

TTFN!

Crushes :)

Awie! I have a crush on someone. It feels so good to have a crush. Just a little one. Someone i can flirt with and annoy. No serious complicated relationships. Nothing messed up.

Hehe. I can't believe it took so long. Men here lack style or personality or good looks or all three, so it has been tough. It feels too good to have someone to ogle. o.O

Crushes are healthy. They're completely innocent, no strings attached and you dont have to worry about all those things. Just be yourself and play along. It feels good. :)

To all those that have trouble understanding my choices

Recently some one asked me WHY i was so keen on answering all the entrance exams i plan to answer. For all you idiots out there:
1. I care about my future. A LOT.
2. I think all the hard work i put in this year will give me big rewards. Hard work always pays off.
3. Slacking doesn't excite me as much as a challenge does.

Also, Yes, i did take four difficult subjects. i did it because i like to keep my options open. No, i didn't take Science because i like to keep my options open, i took it because i love it to bits.

Back to basics

Recently my fancy-shmancy Samsung android phone had a nervous breakdown. The display committed suicide and I was left with a phone that worked perfectly, except that i could do nothing with the screen. This would have been alright to deal with if my phone wasn’t a touch phone. That’s right. It was completely useless. As it is being fixed up by the Samsung doctors, I have to temporarily revert back to using my old HP phone. I thought this would be very difficult indeed.

With the advent of the new series of Operating systems for mobile phones, a lot of changes took place too. Gone were the days when we had to wait for ages for a page to load by using edge; just use wi-fi. No more complicated methods of configuring e-mail, just use it as you would on a normal web browser. Hell, you could even have a normal web browser on your tiny cell phone! All this was achieved by the new operating systems and they took over the market since they were inexpensive. Android, Blackberry and iPhone operating systems now dominate the market.

My android phone is brilliant! It was one of the first Samsung phones to get the android OS. It has everything that I could ever need, all in one teeny tiny cell phone. A physical QWERTY keypad for my incessant texting, wi-fi so that I could visit facebook on the go, games to entertain me at all times, a bunch of random applications for my amusement, and a touch interface to boot! When I realized I would be deprived of all this for a few weeks, I was heartbroken. I have to use a basic HP iPAQ messenger phone now and honestly, it isn’t that bad.

I’m surprised at how competent this phone has proved to be. It has wi-fi, a decent alphanumeric keypad, a decent music player (windows media player, in fact) and an amazing battery life. Sure it doesn’t have a great camera or an app store but who really needs them anyway? Access to wi-fi is enough to keep anyone occupied. And even though my incessant texting is a bit slower than usual due to the keypad, the great battery life makes up for it. This phone has worked flawlessly since 2008, quite amazing in today’s world. My Samsung barely made it through one year, let alone four!

It’s nice to notice how far we’ve come in the age of electronics but maybe we need to go back to basics to take things a step further. An old phone showed me that we’ve come a long way but also have a lot of ground to cover up. Software has seen an obvious improvement, while hardware has taken a step backward. I cant wait to see my Samsung again but I can get by with an old HP just fine.

Simple Pleasures

It was a family-oriented day today. It reminded me that I always have the most fun with my family. I have amazing friends, and i love to hang out with them but I'm guaranteed a good time when i'm out with my family.

Honestly, who else really knows us if not our family? My family has been there for me through all my ups and downs. They've pampered and disciplined me. They've held my hand through all my tears and made me laugh so hard that i cried (or in my case, developed a coughing fit). The crazy things that I can do around my family and the jokes that we share, are unique. Blood truly is thicker than water.

OMG!!!

I just realised that Katy Perry's "if you can afford me" is a modern day version of "Material Girl" by Madonna.

New Hope

Election results are out! And My tiny state is beside itself with joy. Before elections, everyone around me was talking about how voting would have no meaning as all the candidates were equally bad. Now, with the results, i see hopeful faces.

It wills me with so much happiness to see the signs of hope, everywhere around me. People are spreading the word that this new government will be better. I am amazed at how optimistic people can be, even in the light of past failures.

Going loco

Finally! Its the end of exams. And WOW! This week was really eventful. There was drama, seriousness, a bit of fun and some loneliness. Let's get down to it eh?

This week's drama was, actually, of my own personal making. My numero uno fear has always been, being alone. I cant explain the reason for it, i dont really know it myself. All i know is, I have this innate need to be with friends and family constantly. I'm not a fan of too much alone time. Maybe that's because I know I can drive myself crazy over thinking about things..
Anyway, coming back to the drama. My friends have lives of their own, yes? Turns out I had a bit of trouble dealing with that fact. They had lives and I was feeling left out. And being who i am, i lashed out, at them. Now, this wasnt right of me and everything got sorted in the end but it got me thinking. I've realised one thing about myself, i do NOT adapt to unexpected changes as well as i thought. So i let loose my psychotic side. I am definitely not doing that again.

I guess everyone goes loco at certain times in their lives. And this unleashes a torrent of more crazy. Well, that's what happened to me anyway. i let my loco side get out and WOO! What a hurricane i unleashed. I guess it all did happen for the best, just like everything does. But it still amazes me how small hills can become volcanoes.

Purpose

Have you ever wondered what is the reason for your existence? What is the purpose of your life, your destiny. What's are great big universe's plans for you? A series of events got me to soul search and think about my purpose.

I think my contribution to the good of the world involves being a person people can rely on. I think I'm supposed to be the person that people can talk to about their serious, life changing problems or the other kinds of drama life throws at them. I think I'm supposed to be gentle, understanding and a good of source of advice without interfering directly in the drama.


Except i'm never good at it. I'm judgmental, cranky and a little psycho. I am a good listener when I'm in a good mood, but if you catch me when I'm out of patience, i might just bulldoze you out of your opinions. Maybe that's part of my purpose since it is part of who i am.

Of course, there's no way to be absolutely sure that is my purpose but right now, that's what I've been doing for a while and it suits me just fine.

Its interesting to think what each person's purpose is. We are all different and can't all have the same purposes. But maybe we are all executing God's will without knowing it..

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Society and Friends

Ok. So I'm cheating on my decision to abstain from blogging and other distractions but I need to write. Its a necessity.

The other day I was teasing and talking to one of my guy friends. Not boyfriend, not the only friend who is a boy but a really good friend all the same. It got me thinking, who said guys and girls can't be best friends and nothing more?

He is a really cool guy and its amazing how we connect. I can effortlessly converse with him. Our lifestyles and families have many similarities too. I'm so incredibly blessed to have such a good friend.

That's all we are, though. Friends. We are really close, school friends that are very comfortable in each others company. We've been teased together, gotten each other out of trouble and have generally been there for each other. Why is it that society finds this so unacceptable? Why does society assume we've been a couple? We aren't. We are just incredible friends.

Its about time that society became a little more open minded. Its perfectly normal for boys and girls to be friends. There doesn't always have to be a hidden agenda behind a simple relationship.

My relationship with this friend IS special, that's true. But it isn't the dating kind of special. I guess its just that we've known each other for years and are really at ease in each others company. We're completely ourselves. In my opinion, that's completely acceptable.

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Exams!

Bah humbug! I've got exams coming up and its time for me to put a stop to all my distractions (blogging included).

Its going to be tough to keep away from excessive texting, tv time and facebook but I'll have to if I want to succeed in these finals.

Ah Life! Why do you make things so difficult? Its so difficult to achieve anything worth having. Sacrifice and hard work are so important to reach your goals.

Nevermind. It isn't the time to brood over 'why'. Its time to get down to some serious work. I'll need to keep my focus ( as for some reason it keeps getting away from me). Books, here I come!

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Giggles and smiles

Today, we had an event in college that was organised by our writing centre. Our writing centre is another name for our student support services. The centre helps us correct our assignments by ourselves and guides us to become better writers.

Well, today they organised an event day and it was incredibly fun! I've always been a big fan of the english language and all the games it inspires so this was an event day for me! My friends and I participated in events like Hangman, Spelling bee, treasure hunt, scrabble and just a minute.

A few of my friends won the hangman event, my team won the spelling bee and we all lost miserably at scrabble and at the treasure hunt.

The day was exciting and full of incredible fun. It made me see that its important to enjoy your days. Yes, it is necessary to work hard and achieve your goals but it's a part of life that we have a little fun now and then. No matter how silly or childish that humour is, it's always a welcome respite.

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Fallen idols

Have you ever been in a situation where someone you used to hold on a pedestal has proven less than worthy? Recently, I've been in just such a situation.

The problem with this situation is that I do not know how to react. I used to hold this person in high esteem. I used to think that she was strong and independent yet feminine and graceful also. Yet, now I see her for her real self and I honestly do not like what I see.

What stumps me the most is, how come I did not notice her flaws before? How come it took me so long to see what was right infront of me? It's amazing how thick I was.

Even by putting that aside, I still do not know how to react. Do I treat her differently or the same? I've been very cautious around her but is it terrible that I'm not letting her know what I feel? Or is it better to keep things to myself and hence keep the peace?

Oh dear! That's a lot of questions. I hope somebody is able to give me the answers, or maybe I'll find them myself.

As of now, I've learnt that everyone has flaws. Everyone is imperfect. It's what makes us human.

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You don't have to be a size zero to be beautiful

Dear Women everywhere,

Why is it that you are under the impression that beauty is solely based on outward appearances? I know that right now, you're thinking, here's another person telling us that beauty is on the inside. Honestly? It is.

To be a beautiful woman in today's world it is necessary to be just that, a woman. Femininity and beauty go hand in hand. A beautiful woman is a woman with class, confidence, and feminine prowess. When i say feminine prowess i'm talking about skills that all women are blessed to have. Every woman has the ability to be a comfort, a good listener and graceful to boot. A beautiful woman knows what her strengths and her weaknesses are and she knows how to portray her strengths with utmost refinement while working on her weaknesses.

How many women do you love that are beautiful on the outside but rotten on the inside? Our lives are worth living because of the relationships we build. silly imperfections in outward appearances do not matter at all. it is a complete waste of energy to dwell on these imperfections. True beauty is always appreciated. It is about time that you began to notice that you are beautiful. Every woman has beauty within them and that beauty will never go unseen.

With love,
Sasha Desai

Harmony in the three spheres of life

As a student, I know how incredibly impossible it seems to balance work, relationships and relaxation. It's almost as if you're not meant to have all three. If I manage to study and have a social life, I'm sleep deprived. If I'm well rested and up to date with my studies, I find one of my friendships in trouble.

I guess it's one of life's many challenges; To have harmony in these three spheres of life is extremely challenging. It is true that anything worth having doesn't come easily so this challenge is perfectly justified.

Even though it is justified, it's still very difficult to cope up with all of it. The universe may throw terrible obstacles in your path, in one or more of these three spheres of life at a time but i believe the universe carefully calculates your strength before it does so. I don't believe the universe ever gives you anything that you cannot handle. It is this thought that helps me to fight my daily battles and keep harmony in my life. I know that i have the strength to break any barrier and move forward.

Friends and Fears

I was sick today so I was at home, all day. I hate staying home and doing nothing. It drives me crazy. I slept for most of the day and in the evening i was still feeling weak so i couldn't go out, hence, boredom stemmed. My friends were really very supportive today. They checked in on me every couple of hours, updated me on the homework and called me up just in an attempt to make me laugh. I was helplessly giggling by the end of that phone call. 

This made me think about my friends. They are truly very amazing people. They were there for me with something so small. Friends really do make life worth living.

My biggest fear is to be alone. I don't like feeling lonely. I don't even like feeling left out of things. Today, I was ill but I didn't feel lonely at all. My friends were truly concerned for my health. They were constantly keeping me busy. I love them for it. I'm so grateful that my biggest fear is just a nonsensical apprehension. I'm not alone. Honestly, I don't think anyone in the whole world is alone. There is always at least one person to stand by you, even if you don't notice that person.

It's amazing how the universe is incredibly attuned to our feelings. I was feeling lonely and afraid of being alone; my friends kept me entertained and showed me that I wasn't alone. The universe is a great being. Its fascinating how perfect it is.