Lately my head has just been full of rage. For some reason, my temper seems to be constantly rising with every teeny tiny thing that goes wrong. And you should know that a multitude of things can go wrong in one day.
I'm also fed up with feeling angry all the time. It takes a lot of energy to be upset about everything. So i took a break and though to myself, "What in the world is up with me?"
It took me a while to realise that i'm extremely stressed. My mother, who is a stroke patient, is going through a hypochondriac phase; my sister is having life issues; my dad is basically taking care of everyone; pumpkin (our darling doggie) is recovering from an illness and that leaves me to do the cooking, washing, cleaning, shopping and keeping track of other house-holdy things that seem to always need attention. And i must say, it is absolutely EXHAUSTING.
I dont know how my mother managed to do it single-handedly for so many years. She took care of her family through and through. We never realised how many things she handled until we had to do it ourselves. We were probably the most ungrateful family and she deserved better. For all that she has done for our family, we are extremely grateful and we love taking care of her the way she took care of us.
It is extremely stressful to wake up and find a dirty kitchen or dirty bedsheets that need to be washed. i can not emphasize how much these small things add up. A messy table makes me want to yell at everyone i can possibly yell at! A pile of clothes that need to be folded makes me break down in tears. Honestly, i think i'm going bonkers.
Ah well. I need to buck up. Put things aside for a while and hit the books. yes, i still have to do all these things but its easier if i take things one at a time and not freak out about evrything.
Cheers to staying calm!
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