The World Is Full Of Laughter

Can you hear it?
The sound of the dogs howling
The passionate voice of the rain
Can you see it?
The hurrican that's com crashing upon us
and the peopl left with nothing but pain
Can you feel it?
The energy pulsing through us
Th blood rushing through our veins

 This terrible world is a terrible place
Its full of spite and full of hate
but
Inspite of the rumours and social cuffs
we learn to adjust
It is this that gives me hope for our future
This is why i smile in the face of disastr
I know the world is full of laughter

Wide Awake

An old friend of mine contacted me the other day. Our friendship ended quite badly so i was surprised to get a message from her. I wondered if something was terribly wrong so I called her.

We talked for a very short while. It seems to me like she is overworked and needs some company. I would have obliged if it wasn't for the terrible way things ended with us. I used to think very highly of her, but when that fell i clearly saw everything that i had refused to accept for so long. When she contacted me and invited me to meet with her, i thought "Why in the world would i want to?".

Our friendship was very educational. I learned a lot of things in the years we were close friends but i don't feel the need to still be her friend. Yes, when we fought we both said some harsh things and i have forgiven her and she has forgiven me. There is no need for us to still be friends. Forgiveness does not mean that i would accept her back into my life. It just means that i have accepted the trouble and have moved on with it. 

Another reason why i would rather not meet up with her is that she comes as a package deal with a bunch of people i would rather not hang out with. Each one of them has some major flaw and all the while i was in that group i never felt like i could trust any of them. in that group there was a pathological liar, a narcissist and an arrogant one. Sure i have my flaws too (i'm an egoist. My ego is probably bigger than the Eiffel tower), but i value loyalty in my friends.

I feel like i am seeing things clearly now. I'm perfectly happy with my life and with my close circle of friends. I dont need her friendship. Though she feels like she needs mine. I'm having trouble deciding whether i should meet with her since she is clearly in desperate need of reconnecting with me, or whether i should just continue with my life. Any thoughts?

p.s. Mala, i'd love to hear your opinion. :-)

A much needed vacation and why.

My excitement if tending towards infinity. to quote my sister, "We're going to the land of Vicky Donor! eye candy, good food and SHOPPING!"

I feel like i really need this break. A little vacation to get my head back in the game. Lately, i have been feeling a little out of it. I've been feeling claustrophobic. Every time i think about hitting the books i feel like i'm going to be smothered. It's definitely not the work load that is making me anxious. I guess  it's that i have to do it.

i also feel like my breaks arent long enough (who doesnt?), but i'm having difficulty focusing. It's as if my breaks arent fulfilling enough. Hmm.. As long as this doesnt become  bad thing, i think i'll be okay. Lately i've been away from my usual crowd of friends. They're all a bit preoccupied with their respective boyfriends and prospective boyfriends and studying too. i dont know how they manage it, honestly. Well, hanging around with my old batch of friends is highly boring for a single girl. It's all goo goo and gah gah. Either too much love chat or too much shop talk. I like to unwind by forgetting about things, you know? i'm a bit of an escapist that way. I love to run away in my mind, if only for a little while.

i've been hanging out with another crowd for the past few days. unfortunately, i like it. They're exciting and daring and they're all so good at balancing it all. Fascinating..

My week away from home is bound to set things right (hopefully).

TTFN!

Crushes :)

Awie! I have a crush on someone. It feels so good to have a crush. Just a little one. Someone i can flirt with and annoy. No serious complicated relationships. Nothing messed up.

Hehe. I can't believe it took so long. Men here lack style or personality or good looks or all three, so it has been tough. It feels too good to have someone to ogle. o.O

Crushes are healthy. They're completely innocent, no strings attached and you dont have to worry about all those things. Just be yourself and play along. It feels good. :)

To all those that have trouble understanding my choices

Recently some one asked me WHY i was so keen on answering all the entrance exams i plan to answer. For all you idiots out there:
1. I care about my future. A LOT.
2. I think all the hard work i put in this year will give me big rewards. Hard work always pays off.
3. Slacking doesn't excite me as much as a challenge does.

Also, Yes, i did take four difficult subjects. i did it because i like to keep my options open. No, i didn't take Science because i like to keep my options open, i took it because i love it to bits.