Closure

Have you ever had a dream that you wished was real? Have you ever wanted something to be real, so badly, that you almost convinced yourself it was true? I had one last night.

I dreamed that Blake was alive.

My dream started with his funeral. Every person Blake had ever known, ever loved, ever befriended, was present. And just like the scene in”Tom Sawyer" where Tom and Huck attend their own funeral, Blake walked through the church doors. Alive and healthy.

After the initial shock and outrage, we were all immensely happy to see him. He had his hair affectionately ruffled, his was arm lovingly punched. There was a general scene of happiness and cheer.

And at last, Blake approached our group. The group of his friends. He talked to us like we were going to live forever. A little after this rapport, Blake asked me to take a walk with him. We walked away from the grey morbid church and slowly tread into a path with evergreen trees and blue skies.

"Sasha, I’m sorry you spent so much time grieving." He said. I laughed.
"I'm not sorry. I missed you, man. And we were just starting to be friends. Good friends. Great friends." I replied.

He nodded his head and was silent for a while. Then he looked down at me with his brown eyes and said
"Listen, I want you to know that if I die, I want you to go ahead with your life. Go to Manipal like we had talked about. Become a doctor. You always wanted it but you were too scared to go after it. I always envied the unwavering ambition that you had. And I can’t think of anyone else that would become a better doctor. I want you to save lives. Most importantly, I want you to be you."

He paused for a second, looking hesitant. I was about to speak but his face told me not to. He said "Also I want you to make sure no one forgets me. I don’t want to be remembered in a bad way. I want to be remembered as one of the good guys. Like Jeffrey Archer. He made some mistakes but he was a good man. Please do that for me"

Right then, I woke up. And I remembered it was all a dream. Just images in my head.
Maybe this was Blake trying to give me some closure.  Maybe I'm going loony with grief.  Nonetheless, I’m comforted. I'm getting ready to attend Blake's funeral and I’m not too sad. I wrote this to tell people, in my own way, that's Blake, is still alive, in a way. He's always with us. He sees that we're hurting and he wants nothing more than to take that hurt away.

He was an incredible friend. He was a good son. And he should be remembered so.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.